Ode to Oracle

Oh beloved Oracle, why do you torment me so?
Your joins are so long,
And your queries so slow.
As I sit and I wait, oh so patiently,
You giggle and laugh and cackle with glee.
The end must be near, I’ve waited so long,
Bah! Blasted “No rows returned.” and that’s the end of this song!

See what boredom does to a programmer who is waiting on an Oracle query? It’s scary.