Thirty Days of Genius – Day Nine

The mantle of responsibility has fallen to me and that is why I find myself writing this letter.  Llamas.  It may seem like a random topic to some, but to me, it is dire indeed.  At the tender age of four years, six months, and nine days old–yes, the date has been burned irrevocably into my memory–I was the victim of a vicious llama attack.

My mother laughs it off to this day.  “Gregory,” she says, “that llama did not attack you.  I was standing right there.  He just nudged you to see if you had any food.  You really should let this go.”

To that I laugh.  I must warn others of the impending doom upon humanity if these vicious creatures are allowed to roam free in petting zoos, real zoos, or anywhere else.  What happened, you ask?  Well, I will tell you.

I was minding my own business, just walking around enjoying my first trip to the local petting zoo.  I had already petted the goats and sheep.  I was deciding where to go next when I was viciously pushed to the ground from behind.  I scraped my knee.  I bled!  It was horrible!

Looking up to see what had caused this tragedy, I came face to face with what can only be described as a monster.  A pointy head with those beady eyes on that long, long neck that was attached to that round body; it was traumatic indeed.

Now this is where most people start laughing, but this is no laughing matter.  If it wasn’t for my shout of surprise, I’m quite sure the llama would have continued its attack.  I could have died in a petting zoo that day.

And so, Mr. President, I’m sure you can see why llamas must be banned from our country.  I’ve grown up scarred for life and I don’t want this terrible existence for anyone else.  I anticipate your prompt attention to this matter as the course of action is clear.  Thank you for your time.

Writing prompts:  mantle, llama, writing

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